Lighten Up A Little…

It has been brought to my attention that I do not have enough FUN…that I think too much and I should lighten up a little…granted, this was in the context of dating. The advice (from a man) was I probably shouldn’t dive right into deep questions on the first date and try to dissect a man’s soul over a cup of Chai and a freshly baked ham and cheese croissant (Yes, one of my favourites).

I don’t think I do this…entirely…but it’s difficult for me not to ask questions with depth because I’m INTERESTED in knowing about the person! I do understand that some people are not comfortable so I certainly have conversations that are also FUN and FRIVOLOUS…ask my students, I can be very silly sometimes…

The comment of not having enough FUN though has been rattling around in my brain, which is humorous because that’s exactly what he said…I think too much!

But it’s good…it made me question…am I having FUN?

Yes and no.

I can honestly say I have FUN most days; however my choice of FUN may be different from yours.

In my daily routine, I thoroughly enjoy writing in my journal…spilling my thoughts into a book first thing in the morning before I’m affected by the day because the thoughts are fresh, raw, unguarded and real.

I LOVE IT. Writing is really FUN for me.

I have FUN with my dog.

I have FUN with my students. We laugh, talk, sing and hug!

I have FUN being with people eating, laughing, singing, dancing, playing, and engaging in conversation.

And if you know me at all, you know that I find jogging FUN (not all the time) but I always feel great afterwards.

I realize this is a relatively small list although generally practised on a daily basis. I consider it small but significant…But he is right. I am an entrepreneur and I get lost in my world of work and deep thoughts. I do need to lighten up a little. Where can I insert more FUN?

I need to DANCE more – Dance in the rain, in the kitchen, at a concert, on a beach, atop a parkade, ballroom dancing, jiving, two stepping and just because I want to dancing…

I need to go to more CONCERTS – Seeing live music is so much FUN…the energy, creativity and talent…comedy shows, live theatre and sporting events are also super FUN and something I don’t do nearly enough of…

TRAVELLING – I love exploring, learning and seeing new things. I haven’t even started to see the world…I want to experience different cultures, food, lifestyles and adventures. I want to connect to people in different countries. Going somewhere new is FUN. I love airports.

As I did this summer with water skiing, I also need to create NEW OPPORTUNITIES and EXPERIENCES – This could include stand up paddling, zip lining, taking a cooking class or driving a race car.

So although I love to dive into the depths of emotion and personal life experiences, he is right…I need to lighten up a little sometimes! I need to insert more flirtation, spontaneity and activities that are social.

What are your ideas of FUN? Do you engage in FUN activities on a regular basis? If not, why?

It’s a great question and it makes me giggle because I’m starting to dig into the why and why not instead of just the FUN. I need to BE. I need to DO. I need to…

With a smile,

Tina

 

 

 

Money Is Bad…

I had a blog all ready to go yesterday but I just wasn’t 100% happy with it…there is still something missing from it so I decided not to post.

This morning I went for a jog thinking that the missing piece would appear and I’d post it today.

This did not happen. What happened was I began thinking about money and having a conversation with myself.

Here’s how it went:

Tina 1: Why do I still struggle with money? What’s up with the money wall? Why is that such an issue for me? Why am I uncomfortable around it?

Tina 2: What is your core belief around money and yourSELF?

Tina 1: Money is bad and I want to be good.

Tina 2: W.O.W. Are you kidding me? Is that REALLY what you think?

Tina 1: Ya, I think it is…

Tina 2: You either do or you don’t…is that what you really BELIEVE Tina?

Tina 1: Yes. That is what I believe.

Tina 2: How’s that working for you?!!!!

Tina 1: Not so good…

Tina 2: Exactly!

What an incredibly juvenile, ridiculous statement to make: Money is bad and I want to be good.

I find it a little embarrassing if you really want to know the truth…

And yet, I am so GRATEFUL for my HONESTY because it is only by finding the ROOT BELIEF that I can change it! I have to acknowledge it, as simple, ridiculous, immature and asinine of a thought / belief that it is…

I can’t CHANGE what I don’t ACKNOWLEDGE.

Sometime in my youth, my young little brain made a decision that money was bad and I wanted to be good. That’s a kid talking, not a 43 year old woman!

It’s time to grow up Tina. It’s time to yank out that root belief so you have more room to grow, expand, dig deeper and reach further…

Today, I decided to expose mySELF to make mySELF ACCOUNTABLE…to PROVE to mySELF how ridiculous it is…how LIMITING that core belief is to my life.

Thanks for being here. I’d love to hear your thoughts…

With a smile,

Tina

 

Congratulations! WE did it!

Today is a great day!

See the cheque? See all the people on the cheque…that represents YOU.

Today WE were able to hand a cheque over to Ginny and Kerry Dennehy from The Kelty Patrick Dennehy Foundation for $7,500! This will contribute towards more programs and resources for YOUTH suffering with depression and depression related illnesses and help the FAMILIES that are affected.

But today is not just about the money. It’s about PEOPLE. It’s about CONNECTION. It’s about AWARENESS. I am extremely proud of what WE accomplished in such a short time and the funds collected; however, it’s about raising awareness and being a voice for those that continue to suffer in silence.

I had an idea and with that idea, I had a burning, passionate desire to do something….to create a voice for mental and emotional wellness but I did NOT do this alone. I had people who BELIEVED in my vision and I am deeply grateful and humbled by the generosity of people with their time, resources and money. John Davis from Wells Fargo saw my vision and BELIEVED in it. As time went went on, more and more PEOPLE stepped up and embraced the vision.

This cheque represents OUR COLLECTIVE VOICE and it is only the beginning.

I am not done and I hope you aren’t either. The conversations need to continue in our homes, schools, work place and friendships. We need to speak up and speak out. We need to continue to make mental and emotional wellness our PRIORITY!

I am here to SPEAK and I am here to LISTEN so please do not hesitate to CONTACT ME.

Thank you for being a part of our first inaugural Jog4Joy presented by Wells Fargo! I can not stress enough how important every single person involved was in creating a successful event.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

With a smile,

Tina

Do You Feel Lonely?

Because I used to be depressed, loneliness was my shadow…following me no matter if I was by myself or in a room full of people.

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.” Wayne Dyer

I love Wayne Dyer and that may have been true then; however, if I take that quote in and of itself now; I disagree. Generally speaking TODAY I am happy but that does not mean I am immune to loneliness OR that I do not like the person I am alone with (ME).

I go for long periods of time where I am full of JOY and GRATITUDE now that my mental and emotional wellness is my priority. I am CONNECTED, feel BLESSED and life has a natural flow and ease.

But from time to time, I get lonely.

I’m human so I long for affection, touch and that deep connection you have with a loving partner. I sometimes yearn for it but it does not mean I don’t like who I am! It can simply be hormonal or other times it’s lack of sleep or proper self care. I recognize the cause and realize I won’t be alone forever, it just means I’m alone right now.

…and that is okay

In fact, the healthiest thing for me is to be alone if the other choices are unwise.

Being alone doesn’t scare me because I BELIEVE IN LOVE; being with someone who is not good for me just because I am by myself, that scares me very much.

I have never felt so lonely as when I was in my dysfunctional relationships. It’s a different loneliness…I found it to be deeper and more isolating.

“China, all the way to New York…I can feel the distance getting close. You’re right next to me but I need an airplane…I can feel the distance as you breathe.” ~ Tori Amos

I felt I couldn’t tell my friends or family that I was dying in the relationship because we were playing the game so well…pretending…I didn’t think anyone would understand. I believed “ME” no longer existed and was replaced by “WE”. Disclosure of the truth would shatter the illusion…the fantasy would no longer exist…

“China decorates our table…funny how the cracks don’t seem to show” ~ Tori Amos

I believed staying in the relationship and living with the deep, profoundly painful loneliness was the only other option…I felt stuck and didn’t know how to get out. I didn’t know how to reconnect to him, to me and to my life.

“Sometimes I think you want me to touch you. How can I when you build the great wall around you? In your eyes I saw a future together…Oh you just look away…in the distance…” ~ Tori Amos

Loneliness can be an indication that something isn’t working in your life. If you are in a relationship and feeling lonely are you communicating or being validated? Do you feel disconnected from your partner? Are you speaking to each other with kindness and love or are you disassociating or being critical? Is there any physical contact?

What is the priority?

If you are single, maybe your life needs to include more people…take a look inside and see why the loneliness is growing because it is something you can change. Make sure you choose wisely. In this case, I agree with Wayne Dyer…you want to LOVE, APPRECIATE and RESPECT yourSELF so you do not enter into unhealthy relationships due to loneliness.

Loneliness can be a great teacher if you are listening.

With a smile,

Tina

 

Thank You For Being A Voice

Jog4Joy – Part 3

Life is really about people isn’t it? You have your day to day patterns but ultimately it’s about your relationships. It’s honouring yourSELF and treating others with respect, kindness, love and support.

We had such incredible people show up to participate in Jog4Joy.

We had families…

We had friends…

I made new friends…

I shared with old friends…

There was LOVE…

JOY…

Medals and cupcakes!

HUGS…

SUPPORT…

ENCOURAGEMENT…

CHEERING!

CELEBRATING…

ACCOMPLISHMENTS!

People had FUN despite the rain!

People of all ages showed up…

Some even got interviewed by the media!

We even had a few that I didn’t expect!

It was important to me that youth support youth…

We had students from Simon Fraser University and King David High School.

We also had two youth hockey teams: Hollyburn Huskies and Arbutus Avalanche.

 We had teams of people come together such as Fairly Fit, Free The Whales, Fresh Concepts, Gerber Gang and Cowan5.

These are just a few of the teams who registered!

Team Hope came all the way from Princeton and other areas…it was an honour to meet some of you and learn of your journey.

People supporting people. People recognizing a need for ENCOURAGEMENT, LOVE and HOPE. People recognizing CHANGE is necessary and that we need to shed light on the darkness and the stigma of mental illness.

 

Despite the rain, people came together acknowledging that mental and emotional wellness needs to be a PRIORITY.

The rain became a great metaphor for mental illness. It’s in those dreary, dark days that you need the support and I am deeply humbled by each and every person who was involved that day and the couple of months leading up to Jog4Joy.

You showed up. You CARED. By your actions, YOU GAVE HOPE. To me, that is incredibly powerful.

Thank you for joining us. Thank you for being involved in our inaugural year. I am just one person who happened to have a small idea which turned into a dream; a dream I BELIEVED was possible.  It was a fast and steep learning curve and I made some mistakes (I should have done BOTH draws after you had been standing in the rain. I apologize!). I am learning and I appreciate your understanding.

FROM MY HEART, I THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING ME CREATE A VOICE FOR THOSE WHO REMAIN SILENT.  TOGETHER WE WILL CREATE CHANGE AND RAISE AWARENESS FOR MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL WELLNESS.

This is only the beginning! I hope to see you all next year!

With a smile,

Tina

PS. For all of Angelo Renai’s Photos please CLICK HERE. Although he has not asked for it, there is an option to contribute financially for the photos.