Celebrate Good Times!

A year ago, on September 7, 2010 I post my first blog called “My Online Journey Begins”. I can’t believe it’s been a year! I am so EXCITED and HAPPY to CELEBRATE this anniversary. My purpose for this blog was to share my experiences of facing fears, processing childhood pain, sustaining authentic happiness and honouring my instinct hoping it will help CREATE CHANGE in your life.

I’ve shared the effects of TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, the weight of depression and anxiety and the profound benefits of exercising and processing your pain. I’ve CELEBRATED all the amazing and courageous women out there (and men) and challenged you to examine your life to see if you are participating as an empowered person or as a VICTIM.

It has been an exciting year; one with many changes, challenges and choices. It required making DECISIONS based on my INSTINCT and this I share with you so we can learn together.

THANK YOU!

Thank you for supporting my writing, my blog, and my life.

Thank you for sharing your stories with me and being so open. That takes great courage and I admire and respect you.

Thank you for spreading the word and sharing my message of LIVING AUTHENTICALLY, creating DECISIONS to change your life, seeing other options for depression and anxiety and how you can create love and true happiness in your life.

In honour of this day that we celebrate together, I thought I would share a few blogs from this past year that have a special place in my heart. Some are painful, some are joyful and some are based on what you found to be helpful:

HIGH EXPECTATIONS

I’M SORRY

YOU CAN SUSTAIN HAPPINESS

TALK UNTIL SOMEONE LISTENS

ARE YOU AN AMAZING WOMAN?

LOL!

SHE’S CRAZY…ISN’T SHE?

Thank you for celebrating with me. Thank you for sharing this year of change, growth, inspiration, motivation, challenges and decisions. I have never felt alone because you are by my side.

Thank you!

Let’s celebrate life today. Let’s celebrate YOU!

With a smile and much gratitude,

Tina

PS.  We have a few more CELEBRATIONS ahead of us: the full marathon on my birthday (42by42) and my EBOOK!  So excited to share this with you!

Are You Choosing To Be A Victim?

It’s a horrible thought, but hear me out…

I have openly shared in earlier blogs about my difficult childhood. I grew up very poor, isolated, and was taught to live in fear, guilt, shame and chaos. I rarely felt secure and safe in my home.

FEAR was a ruling factor in my life, and often with FEAR, lies ABUSE.

There are many different types: physical, mental, emotional, sexual, financial, and spiritual.

As a child, I was a VICTIM and as a result I grew up believing I deserved pain whether it be in an abusive relationship or having no security emotionally or financially. It has been a struggle to turn that around and to change the core belief that I don’t deserve a happy, loving, secure, financially abundant life.

Here’s what I know:

The victim I used to be doesn’t serve me as an adult.

I can be COMPASSIONATE towards that little girl; I can NURTURE and LOVE her. I can have EMPATHY and seek to UNDERSTAND her choices as a teenager and young adult and FORGIVE her actions. They were the result of hating herSELF. I can feel badly for her and sometimes feel sad or angry for her; she was wronged in so many ways but…

I can no longer FEED into her victim thinking.

At 8 years old or 17 years old or even at 26 years old I didn’t know any better. At 41 years old I do.

Victim thinking will not serve you.

  • It keeps you at the level of not being able to access your power.
  • It keeps you stuck in the past.
  • It creates negative circumstances.
  • It holds you in a place that is painful not empowering.
  • You become abusive to yourSELF.

I know, it’s a tough one to swallow, but it is the truth. As children we may not have had choices, as adults we do.

We become the captain of our ship. We are in CONTROL of our THOUGHTS, ACTIONS and CHOICES. We can listen to negative or we can listen to positive. We can choose to surround ourSELF with people who support us or with people who stifle and try to control the very essence of who we are. We can seek to LEARN, UNDERSTAND and CHANGE or we can sit in what we know. We can live in fear or we can live in love.

If you were a victim of abuse, I am deeply sorry.

Your pain is valid. Your anger, sadness and fear are valid. Do not ignore or feed the victim – heal her. Show her through a change in your thoughts, actions and choices that there is another way to live. Show her she has been heard. Prove to her she has value, worth, and a voice by creating a new life.

Listen to your INSTINCT not the thoughts and feelings you were taught through your circumstances.

YOUR INSTINCT WILL GUIDE YOU TO YOUR GREATEST LIFE. YOUR GREATEST LIFE IS AN AUTHENTIC LIFE.

Do this for her then and do this for YOU NOW.

Victims have no control over their circumstances; you are a SURVIVOR. As a survivor you have control over your life. You have proven to be strong, resilient, courageous and powerful.

My wish for you is to claim back your life.

Dream BIG.

Face fears.

Empower yourSELF.

Live the life you were meant to live.

Be who you really are, not the person they tried to make you.

YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES; YOU ARE DEFINED BY YOUR CHOICES.

CHOOSE YOU.

With a smile, love and compassion,

Tina

PS.  Any blogs that resonate with you, please pass them on.  You never know what`s happening behind someone`s closed door and it just might help them when they need it.  THANK YOU!

Manifest Your BEST LIFE – The POWER of POSITIVE Thinking

My Lovely New Apartment!

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have a lot of change in my life and I’m being forced toembrace‘ this change. I currently LOVE where I live and was devastated that circumstances out of my control are forcing me out of my home. I was angry, sad, fearful, disappointed and resentful.

My fear and anger stem from my past. I moved a lot as a kid and that pattern continued into my adulthood. I think I’ve moved over 35 times to date! I hate moving, and yet, I keep moving.

What’s going on?  Is it all circumstantial or is it intentional? Is it past patterns manifesting in my current life? What am I doing to create this? Why is stability so difficult?

My current home is bright, spacious, in a lovely neighbourhood with a stunning and inspiring view. I love it and was so happy to move here.  It immediately felt like a ‘home’ to me…and now I must leave it behind.

I made a DECISION to not step backwards with this move but continue to step forward. What this means is I had certain ‘expectations’ and desires of what I wanted my next place to look like.

I made a very detailed list right to what kind of flooring, appliances and other features I desired. I also wanted brand new.

I then found the place I had described. I wanted it so badly, I was almost begging for it. I gave every possible reference imaginable and waited, wishing and hoping they’d choose me. I felt desperate and spent days in high anxiety and fear. I thought,

“They aren’t going to accept me. They won’t like the dog. I don’t even know if I can afford it. I won’t get it.”

Negative

Negative

Negative

After a long jog I realized I was investing thoughts into that old core belief of not feeling like I deserved it…and my thoughts proved to be correct. They did not choose me.

Did this stop me?  NO, I was determined to live in this building. I loved it and I wanted to move from one place I loved to an equally or more inspiring space. This was extremely important to me. I refused to settle. I made it my business to live in this building. No option to fail.

So a week ago I post a Facebook status that said, “Ok Monday, give me what I want.”

I found another apartment in that same building. I marched in there as if it were mine. I handed the agent my references and with total confidence knew I was an exceptional choice for this apartment.

I got the place.

You’ve heard it a thousand times:

YOUR THOUGHTS HAVE POWER.

But which power are you choosing?

Your thoughts can connect to greatness, or they can connect to suffering.

My story of the apartment is a great example. When my thoughts were negative I did not get the apartment and when I DECIDED to change my thoughts I signed the deal and will be moving into the place of my vision. Both had power and both became true.

Negative or Positive?

Which do you choose? What are you choosing right now?

Choose POSITIVE THOUGHTS, POSITIVE ACTION and POSITIVE INTENTIONS.

You always have a CHOICE…and if the negative hasn’t been working for you, can’t hurt to try some positive thoughts! I realize sometimes this is easier said than done however keep at it.  If I hadn’t decided to try again, I would not be moving into this lovely and inspiring place.

Manifest the life you deserve.

Manifest JOY, LOVE, ABUNDANCE, SECURITY, LOYALTY, AUTHENTICITY, TRAVEL, LAUGHTER and in my case, a lovely apartment!

Create powerful positive thoughts and I guarantee you, if those thoughts are spoken with CONVICTION you will SUCCEED.

BELIEVE IT. KNOW IT. LIVE IT. MANIFEST IT. CELEBRATE IT!

With a smile,

Tina

High Expectations

I’ve been told by a few people that I should lower my expectations.

I shouldn’t expect people to be OPEN with their emotions, UNDERSTAND their behaviour or be able to SELF reflect.

I shouldn’t expect people to be capable of the level of HONESTY, LOYALTY and AUTHENTICITY I strive for in my own life.

I shouldn’t expect people to be there for me when I need their SUPPORT, LOVE and CARE and I shouldn’t expect the phrase, “I’m sorry” to actually mean CHANGE.

I have also been told to lower my expectations of mySELF: where I want to live, what car I want to drive, my career, how much money I make or the type of person I want to date. In fact, I’ve been told that I expect too much and I should “settle” with whatever I get.

WHY?!

Why on earth would I ever lower my expectations? Why would I ‘settle’?

What would that be telling mySELF?

I have high expectations or “GREAT EXPECTATIONS” not because I think I am better than anyone else or I deserve more than somebody else but because I now VALUE mySELF and see what I am capable of – I see my potential and the life I want to lead is not only possible but sustainable.

I am passionate about living the life I envision and the only blocks would be my own fear (which definitely gets in the way sometimes) or believing those negative comments and allowing them to seep into my skin.

Lowering my expectations is telling my inner spirit:

“You don’t really deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect.”

“You don’t deserve an inspiring home or a reliable, fun car.”

“You don’t deserve a loving man who will be honest, loyal, handsome, funny, kind and generous.”

“You don’t deserve a fulfilling career and an abundant paycheque.”

“NO TINA, YOU AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH SO YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO SETTLE.”

Now that I’ve made certain changes in my life, those fear based, negative statements are having less of an impact on how I live.  I have a choice, and so do you. 

The choice lies in which voice you focus on: negative or positive.

If you BELIEVE in the negative then that is what you will receive. (Ouch!)

If you BELIEVE in the positive, you will honour your SELF, the very essence of who you are and as a result your life will unfold as you envision.  It’s not without bumps, scrapes, lessons or pain…but it is with AUTHENTICITY and being true to who you are and that is worth the journey.

Do NOT tell me to lower my expectations.

Do NOT tell me to settle or expect less.

Do NOT try to feed insecurity and fear because it will not work.

Empower me. Support me. Embrace me. Love me. Help me. Encourage me. Give me strength, honesty and opportunities and I will do the same for you.

Nothing less is acceptable – for you or for me.

With a smile,

Tina

Just DANCE!

This past weekend I was fortunate to have a little getaway just past the border. Our neighbours in the United States were extremely friendly, kind and overly generous. I went down to the Seattle area to unwind, go on a date (practise makes perfect) and do a little shopping.

I also went to an amazing concert.

The Chateau Ste. Michelle is a large winery in Washington and they hold a fabulous summer concert series. It just so happened that the Gipsy Kings were playing on Sunday night and I got to go!

It was a warm, summer night and hundreds if not thousands of people arrived with their blankets, lawn chairs and picnic baskets FULL of amazing food. These people really know how to put out a spread. They had everything from Indian food to seafood, your traditional cheese, crackers and grapes to cupcakes and birthday cake. It was a happy, well prepared crowd.

Since the concert is at the winery it was lovely to sit under the sun and then into the gorgeous evening sipping wine and listening to incredible music. We sat and talked and laughed and chit chatted with the friendly people beside us. It was so much FUN!

When the music started I looked around and many people were doing as I was, bouncing around and grooving to the music. How can you not?! It’s dancing music if I ever heard any.

The second set I couldn’t contain myself…sometimes you have to get up and just DANCE! And that is exactly what I did. In that moment, gone are the thoughts of stress around money, work, my car, my family or my friends. Gone is any anxiety or worry or feelings of unease. All I could feel was the music and the beautiful, clear night and the pure JOY and GRATITUDE I felt for being there and dancing.

Dancing is like singing. Everyone should have the right to dance and sing out loud. Who cares if you aren’t graceful or sing in tune! Be BRAVE and express yourself through music. It’s a glorious way to let go and just be FREE. Moving your body gets rid of static or negative energy. It’s good for you!

This past weekend was a blessing and although I came home to stress and worry I will not allow that negativity to take away my perfect weekend. It will not pass over me like a cloud and darken my mood.

As I posted on Facebook:

“How is it that I get to feel so HAPPY in the wake of such uncertainty? GRATITUDE defined.”

Remember, as the Lee Ann Womak song says,

“And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance…I HOPE YOU DANCE!”

With a smile,

Tina