Celebrating Women – Celebrating YOU!

Today is International Women’s Day.  As stated on their website, it is a day to honor, reflect and celebrate the economic, social and political achievements of women past, present and in the future. Today is the 100th anniversary and I am proud to be a part of the female race.

I deeply respect these women having created such change in our world and I am grateful for their vision and direction.  Today, however, I would like to honor the every day heroes.  The women just like YOU who are raising children, working full time jobs, attending meetings, soccer games, supporting husbands, friends, family and aging parents.

I honor the women who suffer from insomnia because they are worrying about the bills, their child being bullied or their husband being out so late on a Tuesday night.  Their fears build and they may feel totally overwhelmed, yet they get up the next morning and move forward.

I honor the women who always think of others first and as a result will stay up until midnight cooking a casserole for a sick friend.

I honor the women who suffer in silence when they see their ex partner with another woman at the grocery store. They handle it with grace but when they reach their car, they weep out loud, for what they wish it could have been…but never was…

[Read more...]

LOL!

I’m not a big fan of using slang and acronyms in texts and emails.  I like to write out the entire word if I can and will only abbreviate if I am running out of time or room.  I understand it’s cheaper to use the acronyms but I miss the use of words.  It’s the writer in me.

When I was jogging I began thinking about LOL, or LMAO or ROTFLMAO (laugh out loud, laugh my a** off, roll on the floor laughing my a** off) and came up with my own version of LOL (also applies to LMAO):

[Read more...]

Mexico, Margaritas and a Mammogram…

A week from today, I will be poolside on a long over due holiday.  This is something I have wanted for years but due to circumstances I was involved in, the holiday never seemed to happen. It’s interesting to me now, being on the other side of understanding.  What I’ve learned is this:

You only realize how limited your life is once you FREE yourself from that limitation.

I used to be really stuck and at that time, I didn’t have the strength or knowledge to get out.  I believed in others instead of myself.  I protected others instead of myself.  I accepted the limitations and as a result, I suffered with depression and anxiety.  I wasn’t being true to myself, my beliefs, or my instinct.  I have made changes since then and as a result I am experiencing more joy and incredible opportunities.  This trip is one of them.

This lovely Mexican get-a-way is a GIFT…

I feel BLESSED.  This gift is so generous and it’s probably the first trip I’ve ever taken where I’m not worrying about someone else.  I can relax and just be…

The first time I ever had a ‘fun-in-the-sun’ holiday was with my sister.  I cried on arrival.  I stepped into our room, which was gorgeous, stepped onto the balcony overlooking the endless pool and ocean, and realized this was a gift that I wasn’t giving myself.  I was overwhelmed with emotion because at the core I felt like I didn’t deserve it.

I feel truly BLESSED to be able to go on this lovely holiday and there’s not the issue of whether I deserve it or not.  I am going to RELAX, and I am going to have FUN! 

When I get back, I will go for a MAMMOGRAM in March

In my family I have breast cancer on both sides.  My aunt on my Mother’s side is a survivor, having had a mastectomy years ago.  On my father’s side, my half sister survived, along with a cousin but my grandma, my father’s mother, died from breast cancer.

It is in my genes.

So, now at 41 it’s time to get a mammogram. 

I’m scared to death.

It’s not really rational, because I’m doing something that is good for me.  I’m doing something that is a preventative way to avoid breast cancer.  I am getting an X-ray of my breasts, as a way to detect any problems at an early stage. I am taking control of the fear by having made the appointment…

So why does it scare me so much?

In my thirties it scared me because I knew I wasn’t living my best life. I was disappointed in who I was and what I was doing, specifically in my personal life. The possibility of cancer scared me because I knew I had not been honoring myself. 

Now the fear is around the fact I am starting to live my potential, my truth and I don’t want it to end. I feel for the first time in my life, that I am on the right path.  I have unloaded the negativity that was weighing me down and I am embracing the essence of who I am. 

Allowing the fear to paralyze me, isn’t an option. I need to take the exam and move forward.  I have a greater risk of getting breast cancer due to my family genes. According to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, one in nine women will get breast cancer in their lifetime (by the age of 90); however, women have an 87% chance of surviving for at least 5 years after being diagnosed. 

ALL WOMEN SHOULD BE BREAST AWARE.  PLEASE CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION.

My mammary glands and I will be in Mexico, with a peace of mind knowing the appointment is made and the fear is challenged.  We will enjoy the sun, the fun and yes, I will run!

If you have been putting it off, please make an appointment for a mammogram today.  If you are scared, I understand but together we’ll face that fear and get ourselves checked. If you can’t do it alone, make an appointment with a friend and do it together.  Our breasts are important.  YOU ARE IMPORTANT.  Take care of yourself; start today.

With a smile

Tina

PS. The blogs will continue as normal while I’m away, so don’t forget to check back on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then kindly pass it on as you never know how it might help someone.  Thank you.

BETRAYAL – To Seduce And Desert

BetrayalSadly, I am not alone when I say I have been betrayed in my life – many times. 

It started at a young age; too young to fully comprehend the profound impact of the betrayal but old enough to instinctively know it was devastatingly wrong.

At first I was guarded and didn’t trust anyone but as I grew older my choices in the people I trusted reflected that initial betrayal.  I now understand that I chose people who seemingly were incapable of being loyal, honest or forthright. I chose the manipulators of the world because those were the ones I knew best.

Why?  Why would I subject myself to such pain over and over again?

The last time that happened to me I made a conscious decision.

“I’m DONE.”

I was so sick of feeling like crap because of how someone else’s actions affected me. I was tired of feeling devastated, exhausted, deeply sad and constantly worrying about what the other person was doing because I knew in my gut, it wasn’t good.  I knew I was being lied to, on a regular basis.  That’s a horrible feeling.  It took everything out of me so I was left completely empty, literally left with nothing.

I made a conscious decision to figure out what it was inside of myself that allowed such appalling and despicable behavior.  What part of me felt comfortable in that painful chaos? Why did I choose to be involved?  Ultimately, that’s the difficult but key question to answer because I know I played a part in all this.

What I wanted to know and truly understand was, WHY?

Why did I devalue myself to such an enormous degree that I would be a player in this toxic game?

You have to UNDERSTAND before you can CHANGE. 

I have been processing, which includes:

  • Crying
  • Yelling
  • Cursing
  • Praying / meditating
  • Reading
  • JOGGING
  • Cross training
  • Speed training
  • Hill training
  • Hiking
  • Journaling

I am fiercely determined to heal the wound that continues to feed this lesson.

So I dig deep, peeling open the source of pain and allowing all the grief, heartache, anger, sadness and fear to come to the surface…30 years worth…slowly oozes out…

I clean that wound with love. Love for myself

I do and say things that nurture the very core of who I am.  For me, I believe it’s the only way to my TRUTH so I don’t repeat prior behavior.  I will not allow that toxicity into my life again. 

This is not fun; therefore, this is not a daily occurrence. The miracle of this process is now I can look in the mirror and see the real Tina shining through.  The person I knew was always there…the happy, loving, caring, fun, quirky, open-hearted Tina.

And being open-hearted is a choice. I don’t want to be an angry, bitter or vengeful person.  It’s not who I am and I’ll be damned if I let someone else’s actions plant that seed inside of me.

As the dictionary states, betrayal is seduce and desert.  You are seduced into believing the lies and deserted when the truth surfaces, as it always does.  The pain runs deep but it’s not so deep it can’t be healed. I am healing every day and if you have been betrayed, YOU WILL HEAL TOO. 

Today take care of your heart, your inner spirit and the very essence of who you are.  If you honor and respect your true authentic self, then you will attract others that do the same.  It must resonate with you first…always with YOU first

Self-care, self-love and self-respect isn’t selfish…

I understand the pain from all sides, but I also understand that you can heal…

With compassion and love

Tina

PS. Check out this Ezine article…it’s a good one!

The Prophecy of Pain

I will not pretend that I know all the answers in life, as I feel like I’m just starting to really learn but one thing I know for sure is this:

Pain will wait for you.

I am talking about emotional pain. 

In my 20’s I lived a destructive lifestyle because I didn’t want to deal with my emotional pain.  It wasn’t necessarily a conscious thing, but ultimately because the pain wasn’t VALIDATED, PROCESSED, and ultimately HEALED, my decisions in life: career, relationships, health and wellness etc. were affected by it. Situations were created where more pain was added to the initial pain.

For example, I entered relationships that were extremely toxic and dysfunctional. Those relationships were a direct result of not dealing with my past emotional pain.  Now, not only did I have the initial pain to deal with, but I also had more hurtful experiences, emotions and memories to process.  I had more things to feel guilty, sad, embarrassed, angry or ashamed about. 

There’s a great line from the movie “Doubt” with Meryl Streep and she says,

 “Every easy choice today will have its consequences tomorrow.”

The ‘easy’ choice would be to just ‘move on’. From my own experiences, I am not convinced that is possible until you’ve truly dealt with the core issues.  Avoiding the pain all together by moving on or numbing, is not the answer, nor is it the easy choice, although it may feel better in the moment. As stated in the quote, there are consequences to denial or avoidance.

Some examples of avoiding your core issues are:

  • Drinking or doing drugs (prescription or otherwise) to numb your pain
  • Sleeping excessively (one sign of depression) or not sleeping enough (stress)
  • Over or under eating – not eating in a healthy, balanced way
  • Jumping into relationships and using other people to fill your void
  • Staying in relationships even when they are highly dysfunctional and toxic to you
  • Zoning out on TV, internet or video games, ultimately not engaging in your life
  • Working way too much and not having any balance in your life
  • Isolating
  • Gambling
  • Over spending

Of course, all of these ways of numbing your emotions have serious consequences.

Bottom line:  You can’t truly escape your emotions.  They are there for a reason, that’s why they won’t disappear just because you want them to.  That is the prophecy of pain – it will patiently wait until you are ready or you are forced to deal with it. 

If you FEEL your feelings, VALIDATE them, PROCESS them and ultimately HEAL them, you will live a HEALTHIER and HAPPIER LIFE.

I know I make it sound so simple but I truly understand how difficult it is.  I understand the enormity of it.  Trust me, I get it.

BUT, I also know the other side of it.  I know that by facing my emotional pain NOW, I will create a better future for myself.  I know that by dealing with it, even though it’s painful, through that pain I’ve found happiness

It doesn’t mean that I don’t have down days, my blog has shared some of those….but the difference is that those days are less and less and more and more I am living my best life.

If you feel uninspired by your life, stuck in relationships you know aren’t good for you, or you are numbing your pain through ultimately destructive behavior, please honor your pain and get some help.  ASK FOR HELP. Find a counselor, psychiatrist or life coach to help you find the core issues and then create ACTION to deal with them.  In addition to that, I really encourage you to exercise.  I jog without music because it allows me to clearly hear my instinct and then I deal with whatever stress or issues come up.  I process through physical exertion and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for my life.

You can choose to empower yourself and make choices to deal with those painful memories in a healthy way. 

I want that for you…and I want YOU to want that for yourSELF.

With a smile, support and love,

Tina

PS.  Jody from Leapfit is also a life coach.  If you are struggling or feel blocked, I encourage you to contact her for some guidance and support.