I had some amazing conversations this weekend. One conversation was with my friend and coach Jody Kennett about the speed of life.
We talked about how stressful situations can help put your priorities into perspective. As a society we seem to be so busy ‘doing’ or ‘buying’ we’re not really connecting even though we have every gadget and application to do so. We seem to be more disconnected emotionally than ever before. Activities and material things have taken over the simple but seemingly complex act of sitting down and having an honest conversation.
We are too busy driving to soccer games, dance recitals, or track meets to make dinner. We are too exhausted after doing the laundry, house cleaning, yard work, focusing on our career, paying our bills, taking care of our kids, our aging parents, supporting our spouses, dealing with custody lawyers, or keeping track of our teenagers to remember to ask how someone’s day was. Your day still isn’t over because you have the floors to wash, the bathroom to clean and you have to clip the dog’s nails….and don’t forget about those mounting emails.
We are too busy with the details of life to remember the details of our relationships.
Reality kicks in when something happens to a loved one, or to ourselves. Our priorities shift and we immediately remember what’s important. Friends and family rally around you and you realize it’s the relationships not the kitchen floor that is important.
Stop.
Slow down.
Breathe…
Ask yourself, “How am I doing?” “Am I exhausted?” “Do I need a break?” If you don’t allow yourSELF any SELF care, you will be tapped out when you try to give to someone else.
Stop.
Slow down.
Breathe…
I understand that seems impossible when you have three kids under the age of 9 or two teenagers but they could use the break too.
STOP.
SLOW DOWN.
BREATHE…
Allow yourself to engage in a conversation with your children. How are they really feeling about Grandma’s death? How are they really feeling about not being accepted in the talent show, or on the baseball team? Is ‘bad behavior’ really a signal of being bullied at school or shouting at home? How is your partner really feeling about your cousin coming to visit for a week? How do you really feel about your partner’s new work hours? Being supportive does not mean being silent.
Stop (the chaos)
Slow down (the pace)
Breathe (right now!)
And then start a conversation…a real conversation….ask questions…listen…get rid of the cell phones, facebook, twitter, video games and mindless television for a couple of hours and CONNECT.
Face to face. Heart to heart. Mind to mind. You’ll be really glad you did.
With a smile,
Tina
