This is the face of depression, anxiety, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.
It’s not what you would expect, is it? It usually isn’t…You may be aware that today is National Suicide Prevention Day. It’s a day to honor, recognize, talk and gain knowledge about a silent killer that affects our youth, seniors and everyone in between. There are no barriers with suicide when it comes to race, gender, religion or status. It hits those who are wealthy, poor, talented, brilliant, charismatic and shy.
I can guarantee that you have someone in your life right now who thinks about SUICIDE…who feels HOPELESS…LOST…in such PAIN they feel suicide is the only way out of it…their world is DARK, yet they SMILE and LAUGH like nothing is wrong…their ANXIETY may be crippling and yet you may think they are just too busy to come out for dinner…they may be highly functioning on the outside but their inner world is in CHAOS…the FEAR builds to OVERWHELMING degrees…the SELF LOATHING, WORTHLESSNESS and HOPELESSNESS consume their thoughts…
They become NUMB…not feeling anything…food has no taste…life has no meaning…they sleep for hours or have insomnia lying awake staring at the ceiling…
They may SELF MEDICATE through drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, gambling, sex or self harm (cutting or burning)…
They are the great pretenders. They show up, they pretend, they go home and they think about ways they could end their life…
They may choose a date of death and begin preparing by getting rid of their belongings, meeting for lunch and telling you how much they love you. They may have mood swings, no appetite and have lost interest in things that used to inspire them.
All of this thinking, planning, isolating and avoiding is done with a mind that is not well.
It’s crucial to understand in that state, the brain is not a healthy brain.
It has NOTHING to do with strength of character or level of intelligence. It may be triggered by a loss of a loved one, financial burdens, relationship problems, job/career stress or other health issues (chronic pain for example) but ultimately a healthy brain is not a suicidal brain.
We ask people to reach out, but I know from personal experience and speaking to those who have suffered and who have lost a loved one, it’s much harder to ask for help than it seems…this could be because you don’t want to burden someone else with your own problems…you feel you should be able to snap yourself out of it…you can’t see how it will improve…you are ashamed…
Again, this is all done with a brain that is not healthy and that is what we have to remember. With a healthy brain but an injured back, we would reach out if we weren’t functioning well on a daily basis…we would alert our friends if we had cancer or any other illness yet we HIDE when we suffer with mental illnesses…
There are no fundraisers for people when they are losing work because of depression and yet if they had breast cancer we would rally together and have a barbeque or sell 50/50 tickets to raise money to help during their treatment…
What is the difference?
One is accepted in society and the other is not…both are illnesses…both affect their ability to work, care for their family and pay the bills…
National Suicide Prevention Day is today but ultimately it’s a conversation that needs to happen on a regular basis…open dialogue, removing stigmas, sharing feelings, listening, giving hope, offering love, support and reaching out with compassion and empathy are some ways to help those suffering.
I want you to know I have personal experience with suicide. I have supported many loved ones through their suicide attempts…I understand the depth of pain…I have been there, I have thought of ways to end my own life…I have gritted my teeth through days and nights choosing sleep so I silence the loud, all encompassing voices in my head telling me how useless I am…I get it…but I also know that by REACHING OUT, even though it was hard, I got through it and today I am HAPPY to be ALIVE. See yourself in me and grab onto that HOPE.
AVOID ISOLATING. Seek help immediately by contacting a mental health professional at 310-6789 or calling 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433). Reach out to someone you trust such as your doctor, family, friends, therapist or spiritual adviser.
I know it’s hard, but I also know YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT.
With a smile and deep compassion,
Tina
PS. Please share, you never know who might need to read this today. xo
