Self Loathing – What YOU Can Do About It

I don’t know if it’s the time of year with the holidays coming up or if it’s the darkness that is slowly laying it’s cloak over us or if it’s just more common than we realize, but I have spoken to many people lately who are suffering with sadness, depression and a very cruel inner voice.

I was recently asked the question,

“What do you do about self loathing?”

I know what it feels like to hate yourself so much you can’t look in the mirror. You believe with all certainty that you are hideous inside and out and don’t deserve good things to happen to you. You are fat, ugly, stupid, not talented, a whore, a fake, a bitch, an idiot, dumb, not worth anything etc…You are exhausted, overwhelmed and can’t imagine having to spend another day pretending that everything is fine.

For me, it started as a little girl, and I clearly remember trying to change my personality so kids at my school would like me. It never worked. In my teens it wasn’t much better. In my 20’s I went into counseling and it certainly helped, but the feeling still remained and unfortunately I found new ways to prove to myself that I was unworthy. I found relationships that justified my self-loathing.

“He’s right, I am damaged…I am screwed up by my childhood or I shouldn’t have done that, said that, worn that, felt that, wanted that etc.”

I wore a very good mask to the outside world, but inside I was suffering to the darkest degree. My negative, critical, hateful inner voice was very loud and there were days, months and years of that self abuse.


It makes me feel better and it proves to myself that I’M WORTH THE TIME, ENERGY AND EFFORT. It opens me up so I get rid of the toxic, abusive, and damaging voice that’s inside. It gives me strength to say goodbye to relationships that nurtured my abusive inner voice. It gives me an outlet to cry, rage, weep, yell, swear and gain STRENGTH. It nurtures my spirit. It changes my brain chemistry so I feel good on a regular basis. I owe my sanity, emotional stability and deep sense of happiness to the inner work I’ve done through the physical activity of jogging.

If you can’t jog due to health reasons (bad knees, asthma, bad back etc) talk to your doctor and find out what you CAN DO. Some other options could be: cycling, boxing, swimming, skiing, hiking, dancing etc…I find fresh air and nature to be a healing source so I prefer outside activities, but the main thing is to CREATE ACTION, MOVEMENT and to STICK WITH IT.

It won’t be easy…there isn’t an easy button for self-loathing, that’s why people self medicate with drugs, alcohol, shopping, or relationships but just like that negative inner voice wears you down insidious comment after insidious comment, so too can you wear away at it through POSITIVE BEHAVIOR, ACTION and MOVEMENT.

You deserve to shine. With each negative and mean thing you say to yourself, repeat a positive comment in its place. You may not believe it, but do it anyway. Find a physical activity that gets you moving. It will take time, so you need to commit to it for at least three weeks, but you will notice a change in your thoughts and overall mood.

YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. You deserve a joyful, inspired, gentle and kind life where laughter is contagious and love is abundant. Start from within and literally move forward. It’s there for you…

With a smile


PS. I have a new article on Ezine that is flying past all my other articles in views. Check it out!


  1. [...] so sad because I’m not appreciating a part of who I am! I am being critical, mean and negative towards mySELF. On those days I have a negative body [...]

  2. [...] Please be aware of what type of guilt you are experiencing. If you are feeling guilty for having blessings in your life, that is your negative voice keeping you down. It is a way to feed depression, anxiety and low self-worth. [...]

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