The Upside of Anger

ANGER is an interesting emotion. It tells us when we feel hurt, disappointed, frustrated, disrespected or not validated.

It has enormous POWER. The question is what do you do with that POWER?

I believe YOUR anger must be validated, honoured and respected by YOU. I also believe it MUST have an outlet. It is by CHOICE whether we decide that outlet is POSITIVE or NEGATIVE.


  • VERBAL – Yelling, insulting, shaming, or ranting at a person or animal. (This includes children, spouses, and strangers)
  • PHYSICAL – Violence towards yourself, another person or animal. (This includes pushing, throwing things, grabbing someone’s arm and yanking them etc.)
  • DRIVING – Weaving in and out of traffic, speed, tailgating etc. Erratic driving is dangerous to all involved.
  • ADDICTIONS – Eating/binging, gambling, sex, pornography, drinking, drugs etc.


  • EXERCISE – Run, cycle or hike up a difficult hill!
  • BREATHE – It’s simple, but effective.
  • TIME OUT – We ask kids to do this all the time and it’s useful advice for adults as well. In the heat of the moment, step away and take time to collect your thoughts before speaking or acting out of anger.
  • JOURNAL – Seeing your thoughts outside of your head is very useful. By writing down your thoughts and emotions, you can see them from another perspective.
  • CRY – Let it out. Expressing anger through tears is not a sign of weakness…it’s simply a release.
  • VOCALIZE – Some people find singing helps; others will release anger by simply yelling, “Ahhhh!”
  • TALK – Find a trusted counsellor, life coach or another source you can vent your frustrations to without it complicating the situation even more. (For example, sometimes talking to a family member about a family member can create more chaos.)
  • CLEAN HOUSE – Sometimes when you are angry, tearing apart your closet and reorganizing or going outside and pulling weeds can be a useful way to expel that energy.


If left ignored, my belief is anger will expose itself through illness (depression and anxiety are included among other diseases or ailments), relationships or it will explode in chaotic, life altering ways.

I have seen anger do incredible damage to individuals and families. Underneath the anger is always PAIN.

So, if you are feeling angry, how are you dealing with it? Are you ignoring your emotion? Are you giving it a healthy outlet? What CHOICE are you going to make to channel your anger in a POSITIVE way?

  • Honour the emotion.
  • Respect the reasons why.
  • Release the negative energy through a healthy outlet.
  • Understand the core reasons why you were angry.
  • Let go of the pain behind the anger.

Don’t stuff your anger/ pain or express it negatively; honour it by releasing it through a healthy outlet.

Remember: Don’t do something permanently damaging just because you are temporary upset.

With a smile,




  1. Jen says:

    I was looking for the main female actress in the movie “The Upside of Anger” when I clicked on the “painting” (which I liked) and found your site. I am glad I found your site and will look forward to reading your book. Thank you for doing what you do.

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