One quality I LOVE and make every effort to incorporate in my life is THOUGHTFULNESS. I find it to be a rare and dying attribute…perhaps that is why I hold onto it so tightly…
I think if you are thoughtful of others you are paying attention and observing their likes and dislikes. You are interested in knowing what puts a smile on their face. It’s about honoring the other person. It’s anticipating their needs…not in a codependent way but rather a RESPECTFUL, THOUGHTFUL and CONSIDERATE manner.
People like to be APPRECIATED, HEARD and VALIDATED and a THOUGHTFUL GESTURE can go a long way in saying “Thank you”, “I love you”, or “You are important to me.”
It doesn’t have to be much: A cup of coffee (or tea) waiting for you when you step out of the shower, giving a shoulder rub or offering a big double arm heart to heart hug at the end of a long day…
Perhaps it’s taking that extra moment in the morning to look into your daughter’s eyes and tell her she is beautiful and slip a note in her lunch to remind her a few hours later. Maybe it’s calling your parents when they least expect it to say you love them.
Thoughtfulness creates meaningful moments usually lasting long after the gesture is done.
When I taught in Kamloops, for the first recital of the season, I gave all my students a rose with a handwritten note. One year, I told the kids there would be no roses because I didn’t get the order in on time…
The kids were not upset about the rose. They were upset about the note.
As one students eyes welled up with tears she said:
“I don’t care about the rose, but we still get our cards, right? I have every single one you ever gave me!”
I immediately went home and stayed up that night until every note was written…I too, have every note, card and picture they have ever given me…
Another incident, I was following 3 young men (early 20’s) out of the elevator. My arms were full and yet these guys didn’t THINK to hold the door open for me. Thoughtfulness doesn’t require big actions but rather small gestures…often times what you would think is COMMON SENSE…manners…respect…are not so common. These things equal thoughtfulness.
I also think ROMANCE comes down to thoughtfulness…someone putting thought into what would make your heart dance…taking the time to pay attention and really understand who you are and then do something or say something that brings a smile to your face. That is thoughtfulness. That is romance…that is lovely…
Now we’ve all heard the phrase, “It’s the thought that counts.”
This is not thoughtfulness…this is obligation…
I personally LOVE doing things for people…I enjoy nurturing others and I get great happiness out of making them feel loved and adored…It brings me great pleasure to bring others pleasure…
Thoughtfulness must be learned, honed, crafted and rehearsed…
It’s a muscle that needs to be exercised…
It’s an element of KINDNESS, LOVE and APPRECIATION…something this world can never have too much of…
How will you express thoughtfulness today?
With a smile,
Tina
