I had to have a difficult conversation yesterday. In truth, I was really avoiding this discussion…I knew it wasn’t going to be fun. Feelings were going to be hurt; there would be sadness and possibly some anger. I anticipated tears and maybe even some denial. I wasn’t sure if this person was going to be rational or irrational…logical or emotional. Would they be able to hear and accept the TRUTH I was about to share? I hoped so but I also knew that holding on was going to be an issue.
Well, luckily I listened…yes…yes, this person is me…
I had to have a heart to heart talk with mySELF about a few things and I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to do it but I realized…I am being part of the problem, not part of the solution…and that wasn’t sitting well with me. Like it or not I had to face it so as difficult as it can be sometimes it’s a great question to ask yourself:
Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?
WORK - If your work environment is toxic are you contributing by GOSSIPING? Are you POSITIVE when you walk in the door or are you NEGATIVE? Do you smile or grumble? Others won’t respond well if you speak DISRESPECTFULLY barking out orders. If your workload is too much do you ask for HELP or do you quietly resent your coworkers?
RELATIONSHIPS – Sometimes they can be really tough and you only have control over your own actions. Taking a step back and viewing your own behavior can help. Are you DISCONNECTED and avoiding necessary conversations? What about RESENTMENTS…do they magically show up in sarcasm, snide remarks or arguments? Do you really make an effort to LISTEN and COMMUNICATE or have you SHUT DOWN? Are you holding on when you should be letting go? Have you allowed your relationship to become secondary to anything or anyone else? Maybe you’ve checked out when you should be checking in.
SELF – Are you making HEALTHY CHOICES for yourself? These aren’t always the easy choices because they take extra time, care and attention. Do you choose to eat fast food or good food? Do your thoughts EMPOWER you or limit you? Are things not getting done and your dreams and goals expiring because you are PROCRASTINATING? Are you talking or doing?
ARE YOU PART OF THE PROBLEM OR PART OF THE SOLUTION?
Ug, I know, it’s hard to hear…trust me, I am saying all of this to mySELF…with LOVE, COMPASSION and a good stern kick in the butt. Some days I need gentle nurturing and other days I need STRENGTH and DISCIPLINE. I have to ask mySELF the hard questions so I improve my life but it only gets better if I answer HONESTLY and with INTEGRITY. It’s not easy…but I love mySELF and I want the best for my life…it’s called self care…
If there is something chronic in your life causing you grief or a nagging feeling that something isn’t right ask yourself:
Am I being part of the problem or part of the solution?
Stop.
Listen.
You’ll get your answer…
With a smile,
Tina
