Who’s Judging Whom?

There’s nothing quite like vomiting in your dog’s pooper scooper bags at a public rest stop in Northern Washington State, to rid yourSELF of all concerns of JUDGMENT. In the moment of the salt-watery mouth, the tight, explosive stomach and the imminent guttural, violent sounds of retching, I did not care whether people were staring, laughing, judging, making comments, or disapproving of my behaviour.

I didn’t care if I looked pretty, sexy, thin, smart, rich, poor, sad, happy or respectable.

The moment partially digested food exited my body I didn’t give a damn about anything. The only thing on my mind was to get the poison, in this case, rapid food poisoning, OUT of my body. Actually, I think my thought process wasn’t even that much, I think it was simply:

“Get the vomit in the bag…Don’t miss the bag.”

I sat in the rest stop for a couple of hours, throwing up into doggie bag, after doggie bag. Slowing walking bent over, to the nearest container to dump my PRIDE, EGO and half of my guts into the garbage can. I dry heaved for another hour or so, my body now empty of any real substance but still insistent on getting it all out of my system.

I was exhausted and sat leaning against my car seat, door wide open, knees up to my chest, waiting for it to be over. I didn’t have the energy to care about anything other than my immediate health.

In that moment, it’s funny to think that having a good hair day or bad hair day is at all important.

I was simply GRATEFUL I’d kept my hair out of the projectile vomiting.

 

It was a FREEING and LIBERATING moment, and if I wasn’t so sick, I would have found it somewhat comical!

Releasing the idea that people are critical or judgmental is like looking in the mirror and saying:

“Oooh, so that’s who’s actually making the judgements.”

In reality I’m judging them to think they are judging me!  And I am judging me long before they ever get the chance! 

Let’s pretend for a second that they don’t care what I DO, who I AM or what I THINK! Perhaps it’s my EGO declaring its self-importance that makes me think that way.  Wow. Perhaps, just perhaps…even if they do care and they do judge, that it doesn’t matter!  It has no relevance on who I am as a person and what I decide to do with my life. Double WOW.   

If you are limiting yourSELF due to what you ‘think’ others ‘might’ be saying about you or you are worried about whether people ‘might judge’ you and you limit your TALENTS, PERFORMANCE, BEAUTY, IDEAS and PURPOSE in the world by putting yourSELF into a very small, SELF-contained box, please STOP.

You have a CHOICE

You can pack that little box up and put it in the closet and close the door with all your POTENTIAL inside, or you can open that box, shake out the contents and EMBRACE THE ESSENCE OF WHO YOU ARE knowing that it doesn’t matter what others think!

What matters is what YOU think.

Now that is a good lesson to learn from a bad turkey sandwich.

With a smile,

Tina

Comments

  1. Amanda says:

    I printed this and I am going to read it EVERY MORNING to try and embed the message in my head. I know that the perceived judgement of others is the most limiting thing in my life and I KNOW in my logical brain NOBODY cares what I am doing and if anyone does, I DON’T CARE what they think. I just have to REMEMBER that. Sigh. Thank you for eating that turkey sandwich…? Lol…sorry.

    • Tina Moore says:

      That’s awesome Amanda…I’m glad the lesson was brought to you via blog and not deadly turkey sandwich! :)

  2. Can I say, yet again, what a good writer you are?
    Writing about a personal revelation is, frankly, very difficult. You do it the right way – you never whine, or do the “poor me” thing that I can’t stand, and you add humour. THIS is the right way to write about a personal revelation. Nice job.

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