This past weekend I had some new experiences regarding FEAR and INTUITION.
I promised my nephew I would bungee jump with him. I thought it would be an amazing moment for the two of us to share. A wonderful mixture of facing your fear, experiencing incredible adrenaline and that indescribable feeling of surrendering to the moment.
Now anyone who knows me is shocked I went bungee jumping the first time (as was I). I really had no desire to jump again however, this second time was about honouring a promise to someone I love very much and creating a memory we’ll never forget.
People said to me,
“You’ve done it before, what’s the big deal?”
The ‘big deal’ is that you are jumping off a bridge that is 160 feet high into mid air with fast, rushing water below. It doesn’t really matter that I’ve done it before. Standing on that bridge is really scary. Jumping is terrifying.
Last time I bungee jumped I went through an entire process of managing my anxiety, forcing myself to stay present and not allow fearful thoughts to affect NOW. I also jogged beforehand and listened to my quiet voice, my instinct which said,
“It’s ok Tina, you can bungee jump and you’ll be fine.”
I trusted that voice. I believed in that voice.
I didn’t have a quiet voice this time whispering calming messages, I didn’t feel my instinct and I didn’t go through any process. This time I just jumped.
Was I scared? Yes.
Did I stall before standing on the edge? Absolutely
Did I love it? YES!
I am proud of myself. Because I’m not second guessing myself anymore I was able to ‘just jump’. I’m growing and proving to mySELF with each thing I do that I am TRUST-WORTHY. This is good stuff!
The other thing I did this weekend perhaps was a little more scary but in a totally different way. I took a leap of faith and went on my first date. I have been in relationships but I’ve never “dated” so I was very nervous.
This is what I learned:
I’m a really good catch!
The next man I enter in a relationship with is going to be one lucky guy. I understand for some people that may sound arrogant but understanding your value and worth and what you bring to the relationship and then sharing that with others is a gift.
Dating is going to be an interesting adventure for me. I know exactly what I want and definitely what I don’t want. I feel ready because I have done the work on my SELF. I am not entering a relationship with BAGGAGE but rather an UNDERSTANDING of what happened in the past and why. Someone said to me,
“Well Tina, you haven’t been very good at picking them out before…how would you know a good guy if you saw one?”
At first I was very hurt by this comment and agreed with it but then I realized I HAVE CHANGED.
In knowing who I am, what is important to me, and having a deep trust in mySELF, I know I will attract a different type of man. Nothing less will work for me this time. Yes my bar is set high, and it should be.
Anytime you have an opportunity to face fear, you have an opportunity to GROW.
I encourage you to EMBRACE that growth…it’s well worth the fear beforehand and it proves to yourSELF that you are smarter, stronger, wiser and more incredible than you ever imagined.
Give yourself that GIFT. Face a fear today. Learn. Grow. Live. LEAP!
With a smile,
Tina
