I started dating and it’s brought up some interesting questions.
When I meet someone new, it’s great because I know who I am and I express myself OPENLY and with AUTHENTICITY. It’s a freedom I never exercised in my previous life. I’m very clear in what qualities I want in a partner and what qualities I’m giving a partner. I also know the life I want to create as an individual and in a partnership.
Although, this is all very clear to me, some questions do arise when it comes to investing in a new relationship:
- Do ACTIONS speak louder than words?
- Do words have more POWER?
- How does this affect my CHOICE in men when dating?
- Or, for that matter any of my relationships?
I’ll give you a dating example: I seek a man who shows me his INTENTIONS through his actions. So does that mean he doesn’t have to verbally communicate it to me? Does that mean he can withhold his thoughts or feelings because he’s showing me he’s interested?
Do I need to hear it or are the actions good enough?
Words have power and conversations are an important part of getting to know someone. Communication is crucial to solving problems, finding out how the other person is feeling, processing pain or expressing joy. You need to have that exchange so yes, words mean something.
For me, the bottom line is INTENTION. Both words and actions speak volumes; however, what is behind them speaks the loudest…the intent.
INTENTION IS TRUTH.
If someone in YOUR life is making promises but not following through, what is their real intention? What is their truth when it comes to YOU? If they are mean one minute and saying I love you the next and this is a consistent pattern, what is that really telling you?
It’s not a comfortable question is it?
My past relationships were built on false pretences. I believed what I was told not what I was shown. Their actions did not match their words and their words did not match their actions. Despite this pattern, I allowed their voice to be louder than my own internal guide.
What INTENTIONS surround you?
- Do you have people who make promises they never keep?
- Give you back handed compliments?
What do you feel when they say something to you?
- Do you feel loved or do you feel hurt?
- Does it lift you up or in a small tiny way, hold you down?
- Do you feel respected? Heard? Validated?
And what about actions, are words being thrown around without any actions to back it up?
My childhood and a large part of my adulthood I believed and accepted broken promises. My father promised we were moving to a big grand house with a pool in the back yard (we moved to a rundown trailer in the middle of nowhere with a bog out the back), my ex husband promised he’d be faithful and my ex partner promised security. Words, words and more words…there was NEVER the intention to follow through.
Today I have confidence I will see the true intentions in the relationships around me because I LISTEN to my INSTINCT. I BELIEVE it and follow the advice it gives me even if it doesn’t make sense at the time. It has NEVER let me down. It’s job is to filter through the bullshit and find the truth.
The INTENTION of INSTINCT is to PROTECT, GUIDE, LOVE, NURTURE and keep SAFE the person it is speaking to; it is up to us to LISTEN.
What are the true intentions in your life?
STOP
OBSERVE
LISTEN
DECIDE
You have a CHOICE. Choose INSTINCT. Choose YOU.
With a smile,
Tina
