This past year was difficult due to my own family crisis and friends who are also suffering. As much as possible, I gave my full attention, love and support.
Through this CRISIS I wrote some things down that may be helpful to you. Here’s what I learned:
- EAT - You may lose your appetite or not have time but you must EAT. Ask others to prepare meals for you and your family. You need the ENERGY and CLARITY of mind at this time.
- SLEEP - I know it’s difficult when you have a thousand things swirling around in your head and you are worried, scared and stressed but you must SLEEP. Click HERE for some tips.
- DO NOT SHUT DOWN - Sometimes when you are in a situation that is overwhelming, it seems easier to shut down. You may quit communicating or escape through alcohol, work, sleep or isolation. This is not healthy and will only exasperate the situation. If you are dealing with someone who shuts down, then find someone to talk to them if they won’t listen to you.
- RELY ON POSITIVE PEOPLE YOU TRUST - People want to help. Please, ask for help to clean your house, prepare and cook meals, assist with carpooling, make sure your kids have clean clothes or give you a break at the hospital, care home, funeral home or court house. Don’t worry about what others think; rely on friends, family and neighbours to take care of your needs and those of your family.
- GATHER RESOURCES - It’s amazing how many people have been in a similar situation. If you open up, they will be an emotional support system because they understand; they may also have resources for you. If you’ve never experienced this crisis before, you may not know what kind of questions to ask. Please talk and allow others to help.
- GO FOR A WALK - Exercise is an excellent outlet for stress. If you aren’t a jogger then go for a walk, preferably in a natural setting. I truly understand it may be the last thing you feel like doing, however going for a walk will give you some fresh air and moves the stressful energy that is stuck in your mind and body. Cry, let out your fears, stress and anxiety and come back feeling a little lighter. I found hope in the quiet of the trees and the lull of the ocean.
- FIND SOME NORMALCY - I found this to be a very important factor in maintaining my strength. I asked my friends for emotional support but I also asked them to tell me about their own life so I could transport myself to another reality for a few minutes while I read their email or text. I chose people I knew would only give me POSITIVE ENERGY and wouldn’t ask for anything back because I knew I had nothing more to give. I wore makeup and high heels. Seems ridiculous but I forced myself to put that little effort into my appearance because it helped me feel normal in a very abnormal, stressful and difficult situation.
- KEEP YOURSELF SAFE - If you are in a crisis and there is an element of being unsafe emotionally or physically YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST so you are healthy and strong to help others. This may include staying in a hotel, or at a friend’s place and making sure you have your own vehicle instead of carpooling.
- CREATE A PLAN - Once the emergency situation is under control you must create a follow up plan. Life doesn’t always go the way you expect and sometimes even the professionals may fall short. If this is the case, find the friends and family who have been in similar situations or have more knowledge and clarity in this area and ask for help. Create a PLAN OF ACTION for the next day, weeks and months to follow. That may seem overwhelming but with the help of your support system you will not have to make all the decisions by yourself.
If you know of someone in a crisis situation, they may not know how to ask for help. Drop off a meal, LISTEN when they talk or fill up their car with gas. Small gestures of kindness are extremely important at this time.
IF YOU ARE IN A CRISIS SITUATION, I AM DEEPLY SORRY. PLEASE KNOW THAT THERE IS HELP AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Give yourself a moment to breathe and although it may feel like you can’t take another day:
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU REALIZE.
You will get through, one breath at a time…one step at a time…one hug at a time.
With all my love and compassion,
Tina
PS. Thank you for sharing this post.
