Understand Your Past To Free Your Future

“Don’t look at the past, you aren’t going that way.”

“No matter how much you revisit your past, there’s nothing new to see.”

“Forget the past; look to the future.”

Everyone has their own method in dealing with painful situations or disappointing events. For me, those statements have not really worked and this is why…

From my personal experience, I believe that if you have pain from your past that hasn’t been dealt with, it will wait for you and eventually show up in your life. I believe it can show up in relationships, quality of life, overall happiness, how you make choices and may even manifest into illness.

Here is an unedited excerpt from my journal from 2009. This was the year I decided to change my life.

All the self help books in the world don’t really help if you don’t stop to EXAMINE your LIFE, your CHOICES, your PATTERNS, your PAST, and your CHILDHOOD.

You have to EXAMINE where you came from in order to MOVE to where you want to go. If you don’t, there will always be that part of you that is unhealed and unwell. There will always be a part of you that doesn’t UNDERSTAND what motivates you to make the CHOICES you are making.

Some of the answers from your past may not be visible at first, but keep digging. Keep making strides to learn and ultimately grow. It’s not to LIVE in the past, but rather to UNDERSTAND it. I think that is so important, at least for me it has been.”

Let me repeat that one sentence because it is KEY to this blog:

It’s not to LIVE in the past, but rather to UNDERSTAND it.

How am I able to say that I am happy today when for decades I struggled with depression and anxiety? I processed my pain .

How did I do it?

  • I did this by physically releasing the pain through jogging. I allowed mySELF to connect, feel and validate the anger, rage, frustration, shame, guilt, deep sadness or disappointment as I pushed up hills. I openly wept as I ran along the ocean, healing my soul with each step. I built strength physically and emotionally. I connected to my instinct and listened to the quiet voice within.
  • Journaling is also enormously helpful to me and by having a strong conviction to live a better life I was determined to UNDERSTAND my patterns, thought processes, negative belief systems, self sabotaging behavior and limiting choices. (I’m still on the personal growth journey) Writing gives me a way to see things clearly.

I could not do all of that without looking back.

I don’t sit in my past, but I do acknowledge and learn from it. I can’t change it, but I can certainly change how it affects my life TODAY.

When you understand your past, you begin to release your past and all the pain attached to it. By releasing your past, you unleash your future creating a NOW that is loving, nurturing, forgiving, grateful and blessed.

Seek to understand yourSELF and you will find your JOY.

With a smile,



  1. [...] a scary thought, isn’t it? I completely understand but I also know past pain patiently waits for you and can show up as DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, FEAR-BASED LIVING, TOXIC [...]

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