Growing Pains

Sometimes I feel, “the world is too much with us.”

As a child I remember being so deeply affected by books. I’d read about slavery or the Holocaust and I’d think:

“Why? Why are they being so cruel?”

I read all the Narnia books a thousand times and cried every time when Aslan, the great lion, was bound, shaved, tortured and eventually killed.

“I hope no one who reads this book has been quite as miserable as Susan and Lucy were that night; but if you have been – if you’ve been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you – you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing was ever going to happen again.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Why don’t people just LOVE and ACCEPT each other? My heart hurt from all the pain and this caused me to worry incessantly as a child.

Today, I continue to have that PURITY OF LOVE for all life but also feel enormously sad, frustrated, wounded and angered by the injustices of the world…the needless cruelty…I continue to have the childlike innocence of “Why?”

The other day after hearing another sad story I felt like my heart was breaking.

I feel such LOVE, COMPASSION and EMPATHY for the victims (of all race and species) so it feels like my heart is breaking…but then I realized; it’s not breaking. I am not experiencing a BROKEN heart…I am experiencing GROWING PAINS.

My heart is GROWING and sometimes that hurts.

My heart is getting bigger; I’m feeling deeper and it creates an ever greater PASSION to be a better person and to do more for our world.

THIS DRIVES ME TO WORK HARDER AT MY GOALS WITH Jog4Joy.

  • I feel so blessed people are stepping up and speaking out about mental and emotional wellness.
  • I feel blessed corporations and businesses understand that our mental health needs to be a PRIORITY so they are SUPPORTING this cause.
  • I feel blessed to be involved with The Kelty Patrick Dennehy Foundation who are assisting YOUTH and their FAMILIES, the core of our society.
  • I feel so grateful to YOU because you are spreading the word about this very important event. By REGISTERING, YOU are an IMPORTANT factor in helping us create CHANGE. Thank you.

Today although there are great injustices and so many reasons to curl up under your covers and shield yourself from the pain of the world, I CELEBRATE LIFE.

I celebrate the LOVE that does exist. I BELIEVE it can extinguish hate and it can heal the world, one person at a time.

I celebrate the KINDNESS and COMPASSION in the hearts of many. I BELIEVE it can eliminate judgements and cruelty.

I celebrate PATIENCE, HONESTY, INTEGRITY and AUTHENTICITY. I BELIEVE they exist and just need to be nurtured.

I celebrate YOU.

I celebrate ME.

I celebrate the amazing things WE can do TOGETHER.

Please spread the word about Jog4Joy presented by Wells Fargo and in partnership with The Kelty Patrick Dennehy Foundation.

TOGETHER we can raise awareness to make our mental and emotional wellness a PRIORITY.

From my heart to yours,

Thank you.

With a smile,

Tina

PS. To register click HERE.

 

What You Know vs What You Were Taught

Growing up, the message I received from my father was that I was

…bad…

…ugly…

…worthless…

…unlovable…

He instilled

…fear…

…guilt…

…shame…

…self loathing…

He taught me that I was a bad person…a horrible, awful, hideous creature that deserved pain.

This was the message I received from him and he either said this verbally or through his actions. I believed him for a while…

…but…

I ALWAYS KNEW THE TRUTH.

For many years I didn’t have the COURAGE or the EMOTIONAL STRENGTH to live that TRUTH but I always did know it was there…hidden deep inside of me…protected from further pain…

Instead of listening to what I was taught, I turned to what I know (two very different things)…

What I was taught was truly horrible for any child to believe…to think they are somehow ugly, bad and unworthy of love…

What I know is that my natural state is LOVE.

I believe we are born LOVE and then we are taught everything else: hate, kindness, patience, anger, jealousy, courage, respect, compassion, hope, guilt, shame, appreciation etc.

I believe we are born with INSTINCT but we are taught FEAR.

We have to go back to what we know, and keep the POSITIVE things we were taught.

We need to honour our TRUE selves…not the negative self we were taught, influenced or brainwashed into believing.

www.the40by40.com

You weren’t born bad…as a child, you were never bad. You may have done some things like break something or steal something or hurt your little brother…but you were never ‘bad’. You were a kid…learning, experimenting, discovering and challenging your boundaries.

You were a child trying to find your way.

Today, I want you to understand your VALUE and WORTH, your PURPOSE and LIGHT.

I want you to look and see the LOVE that is inside of you…

It may be hidden very deep underneath self loathing, hatred and anger. It may be tucked behind guilt and shame or wounded from too much pain.

I understand.

I know.

But I want YOU to know that underneath all of that is your TRUE SELF…the pure, beautiful love of a human spirit. The very essence of who you are is LOVE. If you can hold onto that thought and nurture that tiny flame one day at a time…think and do things that nurture that TRUE SELF…that LIGHT, that LOVE will shine on the dark places of your heart. If you can’t bear to do it for yourself, let me say it for you:

I am love.

I am lovable.

I am worthy of love.

When that TRUTH truly resonates within yourSELF…then not only will you treat yourSELF with more LOVE, KINDNESS and RESPECT but you will have far more LOVE to give to others.

My wish is for you to see your true self today…your true self is love.

From my heart to yours,

Tina

PS. I would be profoundly grateful if you join me in a very important event called Jog4Joy to raise awareness for mental and emotional wellness. For more information click HERE or email me at tina@jog4joy.com  THANK YOU.

9/11

I remember 9/11 very well.

I was living in a small attic apartment after separating from my ex husband. I woke up to my old clock radio announcing a plane had struck a tower in New York and it was on fire. I got out of bed and turned on the television…within minutes I was watching live as the second building was hit and both towers were covered in thick, heavy smoke.

I didn’t know a single person in those towers but I was devastated for them and for the lives that would be affected. I thought about how terrified and confused the people in the buildings must have felt…their last moments of life in absolute chaos and panic.

I sat and watched in horror, completely powerless like millions of others as the buildings collapsed. I was in shock and wept openly. I said out loud to myself:

Oh my God, how could this happen on North American soil?” 

I was scared. What did it mean?

I was then deeply ashamed.

The truth is devastation happens every day in many different countries…images of violence, riots, war and slaughter against PEOPLE would affect me but not as deeply as that particular day in New York. Did it have to come onto my soil for me to really understand the depth of destruction, pain and suffering in the WORLD? To this day, I don’t know…all I know is my life changed that day and my level of understanding opened up.

PAIN IS PAIN.

PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE.

MY BRAIN DOESN’T UNDERSTAND VIOLENCE; MY HEART ONLY UNDERSTANDS LOVE.

Today I HONOUR to the deepest of my ability the people who were in those buildings suffering an unimaginable, frightening death.

I HONOUR the survivors and all the incredible people who BRAVELY stepped into the depths of hell to HELP people they did not know, risking their own lives to save others.

I HONOUR the families and friends who continue to miss their loved ones…grieving is an individual process and I wrap my arms around you with love.

To those watching, powerless as lives were lost in front of you, chaos surrounded you and you were confused, lost and didn’t know how to handle it, I give you my love

I haven’t experienced first hand such violence and devastation but what I do know is that the WORLD needs more LOVE, COMPASSION, KINDNESS and RESPECT for others…if we ALL move forward with these qualities in our heart, reflecting our daily actions, the WORLD would change, one person at a time.

I am GRATEFUL for my life. I am GRATEFUL for the people in my life. Today I honour YOUR life by living MY life to the best of my ability…HELPING, LOVING, and extending KINDNESS and COMPASSION wherever I go.

From my heart to yours,

Tina

 

Embrace One Another

The day after Labour Day is a big day for a lot of people. Many feel it’s almost like New Years, a chance for new beginnings. There is an exciting ENERGY, especially when it’s such a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and the air is fresh. There is an element of HOPE, CHANGE, POSSIBILITIES and OPPORTUNITIES.

I embrace this energy. I LOVE it and yet, I also tend to see the world through filters. I don’t mean this in a negative way but rather I look at the world through my own eyes and then through my understanding of someone else’s eyes.

COMPASSION AND EMPATHY CREATE A DEPTH IN PERCEPTION.

For example, how does today look to the family who lost their 8 year old son to cancer just 8 and a half months ago? All those back to school advertisements…

What about the two siblings who lost their father? How does it feel for their Mom to be getting the kids back to school without her lifelong partner by her side?

How does today feel to the little soul entering school for the first time?

What about the girl who loves her new outfit only to get called a slut the minute she walks through the school doors. She probably won’t share how sad and ashamed she feels and instead will internalize her emotions…

What about the boy getting out of the car and his father tells him he’s stupid…how do you go about your day believing your father thinks you’re stupid?

There is EXCITEMENT, HOPE and LAUGHTER. There are CHALLENGES, STRUGGLES and PAIN.  No matter who you are or where you live, everyone around you has a story.

THE ONLY ANSWER IS TO LIVE WITH LOVE, COMPASSION AND KINDNESS AS YOUR GUIDE.

A hug goes a long way and it doesn’t need words. A small note can be saved for years.

A touch on the shoulder, a squeeze of a hand…a smile from the heart…these things can help someone get through a difficult day and ultimately they just enhance your own life experience.

EMBRACE ONE ANOTHER.

You just don’t know what is happening in someone’s life; that HUG may be their LIFELINE.

With a smile,

Tina

PS. Don’t forget to make a difference in someone’s life by registering for JOG4JOY…giving hope, one step at a time.

 

TRAIN 4 Your BRAIN

I believe EXERCISE is crucial to aiding and maintaining a healthy mental and emotional life.

I am not a doctor nor am I a fitness trainer; however, I am a woman that went from a fairly consistent depressive and anxious state, riddled with toxic relationships and an abusive background, to someone who now PASSIONATELY ENJOYS and EMBRACES LIFE. I personally experienced the shift that exercise created.

I jog, so I will use jogging as an example; however, cycling, hiking, skiing, rowing, or boxing etc., are also applicable.

Here are my top 4 reasons to Train4YourBRAIN:

MANAGE STRESS:

Jogging is an outlet for stress, anxiety, anger, frustration, sadness and irritability. It gives you a PHYSICAL outlet to release those inner emotions. In very basic terms, I believe emotions stick to your body on a cellular level, so exercise shakes things up and creates a different energy. I find, the greater the problem or emotion, the longer the jog or the steeper the hill. I match the emotional intensity to the physical intensity. Is it difficult? Sure, but the emotional pain is worse and this gives me a healthy way to deal with it.

MEDITATION:

Jogging gives you time to think through things or if you need to REST YOUR BRAIN, it gives you a chance to listen to music, or the consistent pattern of your feet hitting the ground as a meditative tool. It is a way to CLEAR YOUR MIND and create a natural peace and calm.

HABIT:

Jogging creates habit in your life. HABITS ARE HELPFUL IF THEY ARE HEALTHY. By sticking to a routine, your brain becomes used to that hit of endorphins (nature’s natural happy drug) and you begin to see and feel the change in your life. THIS TAKES TIME. I began from the very very basics (jogging one minute, walking 4 minutes for a total of 15 minutes then literally going to bed) so it took me about three weeks to a month to see and feel the benefits MENTALLY.

SELF ESTEEM:

I was really surprised how exercise helped my self esteem, giving me a quiet confidence I could never sustain prior to exercising. The endorphins make you feel happy but the GOALS you create, work towards and ultimately ACHIEVE creates a personal inner strength that translates into other areas of your life. Although you can still have low self-esteem if you exercise, I think if you process your emotions (Why are you feeling insecure?) as you exercise, you’ll find some answers which will help you become stronger mentally and emotionally. This has been my experience.

CHALLENGING YOURSELF PHYSICALLY CAN ONLY AID IN YOUR TOTAL HEALTH.

It helps the BRAIN become clearer in thoughts and can aid in lifting depression or assisting with anxiety. It helps the HEART process emotion and it helps the BODY become stronger and better able to fight disease.

TRAIN FOR YOUR BRAIN.

DON’T FORGET TO REGISTER FOR JOG4JOY!

A beautiful 5k walk/run to raise awareness for mental and emotional wellness, in partnership with The Kelty Patrick Dennehy Foundation. It’s a JOYFUL event for a serious issue. It’s going to be FUN and we hope to see you there!

Have a great weekend. See you on Tuesday!

With a smile,

Tina